My great-uncle E.P. Spurlin died this morning. And even though I know he wasn't aware of things, and I know this is better for him, I'm still sitting here crying at my desk. I loved that man. My aunt Frances and uncle E.P. (great-aunt, great-uncle, I referred to them without the "great-" except to explain who they were, even though they were great people) took care of me when I was sick as a kid, we went over there all the time, and ...they were just... cool people.

I don't think there's been a week that has gone by, since moving to Belton (six, maybe seven miles from where I grew up, give or take), that someone hasn't gone "Spurlin? Like, _____ Spurlin?" (where the blank is, better'n half the time, "E.P.") And it's always a family member. He was a banker for... man, like fifty years.

I had a man cut my hair the other day that remembered being in the VFW with E.P. .

Stronger than anything, and worked hard when he used to be able to.

Alzheimer's disease sucks.

And listening to him tell stories about J. Frank Dobie stuff, and just... kinda ramble like some older guys do... that was pretty awesome, really. Lived in the same town all his life -- well, once they moved to town from the farm -- fifteen miles from Temple... Married a girl from down the road from where he grew up.

That's the kind of thing that I think more people should aspire to. Seriously.

I don't talk much about my dog Toby on here, but... My parents had him put down on the 30th. He was, apparently, in a lot of pain and had some form of doggy leukemia. Not good at all. There wasn't anything to be done, really, but make his last little bit peaceful. And I'm sad. But it hasn't really sunk in yet. Next time I go home it'll likely suck. We've had him since I was... I want to say 10 years old. I remember the day we got him-- we went to this guy Scott Benson's house, and they had a whole litter of lil' half-beagle-half...dog puppies, and I picked him out. He whimpered for like two days. Cutest puppy ever. (well, my granddad's Shar Pei was pretty damn cute, too, but... y'get it.)

And he's just been... cool, ever since. He got sick a few months ago, and then he seemed to get better for a while. But this time... nothing else to do.

He used to get all riled up by people walking by the house, and he'd run, right. from gate to gate, for like an hour and a half. FAST. It was nuts. The vet wondered if we fed him-- we were like "yes, a lot, but he runs two hours a day..."

One day it "snowed" in Temple. And I shouldn't think this is funny, honest-- but when the roof of his doghouse was covered in ice and he jumped up and slid right off the other side... Couldn't help myself. He was fine, just a little "hey wtf was that"...

In my parents' room, the bathroom is separated by a wall, and that whole wall is a mirror. one day, it clicked in his head that "hey-- there's a dog there" when he looked in the mirror. (not the brightest dog, he ain't) and watching him run around to see that there was... nothing there. And he ran back, saw the reflection, ran out... nothing. One of those "um..." moments.

I miss you, Toby.

My great-aunt passed away this evening. She had a massive stroke a couple of weeks ago, and had been comatose since then. I suppose this way she didn't suffer and wasn't in pain. That's a comfort, somehow.

I got to see her when she was all right, a week or so before the stroke. And then two weekends ago, when I was home, after it happened. I'm glad I got to see her when I did.

It's too bad, but I wouldn't want her to linger in that other state. It's better this way, somehow.

It's sad, because this is family that lived in Temple. I've been going to their house as long as I can remember, too. This 'getting older' thing isn't so fun, at times.

Not okay at the moment. I think it's hitting me now. I need to sleep.

Everything'll be fine in the morning...

EDIT: This is going to be hard. I thought I was ready for this. I'm not.

In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we remember them;

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we remember them;

In the opening of the buds and in the warmth of summer, we remember them;

In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we remember them;

In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we remember them;

When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember them;

When we have joys we yearn to share, we remember them;

So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are now a part of us,

As we remember them.

---

Lucas John Kimmel
Jerry Don Self
Timothy Doran Kerlee, Jr
Jamie Lynn Hand
Nathan Scott West
Michael Stephen Ebanks
Miranda Denise Adams
Chad A. Powell
Jeremy Richard Frampton
Christopher D. Breen
Bryan McClain
Christopher Lee Heard

---

These were friends or friends of friends of mine, and damn good people, all of them. I laugh to hear stories involving Lucas every time. Tim Kerlee was one of the most upstanding people anyone would have the privilege to know. And the others... I'm sure that Lucas and I would have gotten along well, had i gotten the chance to know him better. As it is, this day every year chokes me up. A lot. I only wish i could be alongside my friends to remember them tonight in College Station.

We remember y'all.


1999 Aggie Bonfire Memorial website

Aggie Muster was good. those I knew:
--Matt Moore, '03
--Don Smith, '04 (had he stayed to finish; he left last year, i think)
--Todd Martin, '03
--S. Austin Curley, '38.

softly call the Muster...

Muster is always a sober occasion, and it always will and always does choke me up.

So i just read in this article from the Bryan/College Station Eagle that a guy i went to Temple High with was electrocuted over the weekend. He was a good guy. I didn't really know him that well, but well enough to chat some around campus. A real shame. Everyone be careful at your job, please.

Yesterday I went to a memorial service on campus for a friend of mine, James Todd Martin. Todd was a great guy... I didn['t know him very well, but i never heard a bad thing about him. He was killed in a car accident on Feb. 26th. He was very involved in Bonfire, was a Brown Pot (chainsaw crew, basically) and loved it. He had a girlfriend whol loved him, and many many good friends.

We'll miss you, Todd.

SO the ealry mornign hours of November 18 2004 I went out to the Polo fieldsw, with Jimmy, my sophomore roommates, adn one of my best friends. One of his best friends from hihg school was killed int eh Bonfire Collapse, and another friend of ours was very good friends with the same guy. Two others that were Killed were also friends of George's. And I'd met two of those three shortly before the collapse.

I don't like being exasperated at this. I am. There is a short amount of time I can hear people talk about it before my meter for that is exhausted. I really have a hard time listening to some people talk about what they don't understand. And I fon't understand as well as I would like, since I didn't do much with Bonfire my freshman year, when the collapse happened. I was going to go out there that night, and I didn't. I'd had 3 tests that day, so I went home and crashed. And at 2:42 in the morning, we got a crew chief screaming (literally screaming, it was uncanny.) we knew almost instantly something was very very wrong.

And I'd never seen the Bonfire Stack, and it was really something. In that holy shit way. Amazing in size. And the magnitude of the disaster began to sink in. And then several of my best friends no longer had some of their best friends anymore.

And I'm conflicted. part of me knows the sheer magnitude of the project makes it dangerous, and I should be unwilling to do anythign that has a risk factor that high. I'm not one who wants to have peopole get hurt. IO'd much rather leave it be, on a certain level.

But the other side of me knows that Bonfire plays a giant role in cameraderie at this university, and I have, myself, seen how the Aggie Spirit and pride in the campus and all has declined since Bonfire is no longer on campus(for now, at least). And there are reasons for both opinions.

I was telling a friend last night, the times I feel most alive are after a massive physical effort, like picking up logs. I enjoy the muscle tightness, and the bruises, and the stiffness. Makes me realize I'm still able to do all that. And that's what I enjoy.. Doing all that around friends... YOu are one of hundreds of people who come to Bonfire to work, and you're all friends. everyone. regardless of which dorm you live in, or if you are in the Corps or not, or graduated or not, or whatever. All friends. and that is the essence of it. you become friends through hard work. And I love that.

Well, that and the smell of burning wood. But we just burn it to get it out of the way for next year... *grin*

---

The dedication of the Memorial was good. It was hard, and it always is. It's a somber, gut-wrenching time. Every year.
It was good to be there with friends. Jimmy adn George, and Andy...some of my very best friends. Guys that I've gone through inordinate amounts of shit with. And that carries you through...

---

It's been a weird couple of days. I'm going to rest now, I think.

Aggie Bonfire memorial was good.
Glad it's dedicated, and it was good to see some old friends, and reflect some.

---

Remember Bonfire '99....
We will never forget.

---

More later.

I had other stuff i was going to post about, but... it seems trivial compared to the death of a friend, that I just now read about. I wasn't aware that he was still in this area, much less that he was a cameraman for the local news station. Anyway... he was a good guy, even if I didn't know him that well, and I went to church with him and his family all my life, so... yeah. It's just kinda strange.

Prayers to the Moore family...
*prays*

article text from the Bryan-College Station Eagle is below:

Matt Moore, a live-feed photojournalist at KBTX-TV, died yesterday while covering a gas well explosion in Robertson County, Texas.
Moore, 23, graduated from Texas A&M in May 2003 with a degree in journalism.

Mike Wright, general manager of KBTX-TV, said Moore and three other journalists were setting up for a live news report next to Wood Field in Hearne around 6 p.m. when the 15-foot mast on the live-news van came into contact with high voltage wiring. The van was parked at the time of the accident.

Wright said the accident is still under investigation.
Moore, who is from Temple, had been working for KBTX-TV since September 2003, Wright said.

Michelle Peltier, a news anchor at KBTX-TV, said the van's mast is raised to ensure better reception during live news reports from the field.

"Matt was very hard-working and passionate about his job," Peltier said.

"He had a quick wit and a great sense of humor - he was really a guy you hoped they would send on assignment with you."

Peltier said Moore's death is particularly hard because of the family environment at KBTX-TV.

Charlie Haldeman, a former KBTX-TV anchorman who is now a broadcast media specialist for the City of College Station, went to the KBTX-TV studio to help out his colleagues when he heard of the tragedy.

"I remember Matt as an easygoing guy who had an awesome sense of humor. If you weren't paying attention, you wouldn't catch his wit," Haldeman said.

KBTX-TV is a CBS affiliate serving the Bryan-College Station area.

I LOVE being in the woods, cutting trees. It's so much fun. I like it, i like it.

And I'm getting a lot better at swinging an axe.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Levi Windle passed away Sunday night from injuries sustained in an accident near his home. I didn't know him, personally, but everyone you talk to that did said he was a damn good guy. He was involved heavily with the Student Bonfire effort, and it's a damn shame.

RIP Levi Windle, Fightin' Texas Aggie Class of '02.

Muster was cool. anyone who hasn't been to Muster, you really should go. Seriously, it's a neat experience, and i can't really say what it is about it that makes it a cool experience, except i think it gives you a really good appreciation for the fact that you affect people, and they will care about you after you're gone. that's a weird/difficult thing to have any appreciation for when you don't think about it... but it shows up during things like this. and it's neat.

so there.